In which I learn the importance of buoyancy

So, a couple of weeks ago I am in the bath with Amelia. We are having a great time playing Barbies in the bubbles. I am Cinderella and she is Sharpay. She had come upstairs after me and had closed my bedroom door, unbeknown to me.

When the fun has come to an end, I tell her it's time to get out of the bath. She protests and starts bargaining for more time. 5 more minutes. So I give in a little and tell her that in 2 minutes we will pull the plug and we can wait until the bath empties before getting out. She happily agrees and we continue scoring Cinderella and Sharpay's diving skills.

Let me pause here and tell you all about my bath. I LOVE my bath. It's a DEEP soaker jacuzzi tub with marble all around and even has a little step leading up to it. Our bathroom is one of the reasons I wanted to buy this home. Horrible isn't it? The baby's room doesn't have a closet because the hugeness of our bathroom pushed all the rooms on that side of the house down a size.

Now, the water is gone and I go to get up. Except I can't. I am 33 weeks pregnant and my almost four year old is between my legs and I have no buoyancy from the water to help push me up. I could just roll over onto my knees and push myself up that way but Amelia is there and I can't do it without kicking her in the head. I can't let her get out by herself because she is wet and covered in bubbles and will likely slip and smack her head on that damn marble that is all over this bloody bathroom. So I call out seetly to my husband to come and get her. Except he can't hear me because the door to the bedroom is closed. Only I don't know that at this point and I am screaming at the tops of my lungs, getting madder and madder by the second. Amelia is now freezing and cuddling up to pruny and cold body for warmth. "Please put the warm water back, Mommy" she begs. Only I can't do that because I drained the hot water tank filling up this ridiculously deep and huge tub. She doesn't believe me and turn on the tap dousing me with freezing cold water which makes me yelp and her cry.

So we decide to call Daddy together. SCREAMING. Finally, he hears us and comes upstairs. I hear the bedroom door open and realize why he hasn't heard us. Before he hits the bathroom I am shouting "Now, no laughing at me..." Which of course makes him laugh that much harder at me when I tell him what has transpired. He rescues us and makes me promise not to take another unattended bath with our daughter until after the baby is born.