So I had me boy!

There is a lot to catch up on the last 8 months. I am switching directions a little bit on this blog but I did not want to NOT recognize the arrival of my sweet little prince, Maxime Alexandre Paul. Born January 4th @ 5:43 pm after a 2 day induction and 50 minute labour!

I can't remember life before him!

In which I learn the importance of buoyancy

So, a couple of weeks ago I am in the bath with Amelia. We are having a great time playing Barbies in the bubbles. I am Cinderella and she is Sharpay. She had come upstairs after me and had closed my bedroom door, unbeknown to me.

When the fun has come to an end, I tell her it's time to get out of the bath. She protests and starts bargaining for more time. 5 more minutes. So I give in a little and tell her that in 2 minutes we will pull the plug and we can wait until the bath empties before getting out. She happily agrees and we continue scoring Cinderella and Sharpay's diving skills.

Let me pause here and tell you all about my bath. I LOVE my bath. It's a DEEP soaker jacuzzi tub with marble all around and even has a little step leading up to it. Our bathroom is one of the reasons I wanted to buy this home. Horrible isn't it? The baby's room doesn't have a closet because the hugeness of our bathroom pushed all the rooms on that side of the house down a size.

Now, the water is gone and I go to get up. Except I can't. I am 33 weeks pregnant and my almost four year old is between my legs and I have no buoyancy from the water to help push me up. I could just roll over onto my knees and push myself up that way but Amelia is there and I can't do it without kicking her in the head. I can't let her get out by herself because she is wet and covered in bubbles and will likely slip and smack her head on that damn marble that is all over this bloody bathroom. So I call out seetly to my husband to come and get her. Except he can't hear me because the door to the bedroom is closed. Only I don't know that at this point and I am screaming at the tops of my lungs, getting madder and madder by the second. Amelia is now freezing and cuddling up to pruny and cold body for warmth. "Please put the warm water back, Mommy" she begs. Only I can't do that because I drained the hot water tank filling up this ridiculously deep and huge tub. She doesn't believe me and turn on the tap dousing me with freezing cold water which makes me yelp and her cry.

So we decide to call Daddy together. SCREAMING. Finally, he hears us and comes upstairs. I hear the bedroom door open and realize why he hasn't heard us. Before he hits the bathroom I am shouting "Now, no laughing at me..." Which of course makes him laugh that much harder at me when I tell him what has transpired. He rescues us and makes me promise not to take another unattended bath with our daughter until after the baby is born.

Not much to say as I am still not sure how I feel

So on one hand, I would really LOVE to have the Conservatives out of power. And I do believe in our parliamentary system and believe that all this is how our Canadian system works.

But, I am just a scardey cat. I am afraid that people will be so pissy that they punish the left parties and next time the idiot will get a majority. Not based on his policies, or that they share his views of the country. I am just afraid that the rest of the country will do what Quebec did in the election prior to this one. Punish the Liberals by voting in the Conservatives. God help us all.

I am tired.

I am tired of being pregnant.

Actually, I am tired of being weepy, bitchy, happy, pee my pants every five minutes, not able to sleep in one position for more than 30 minutes, mommy with no patience, wife with no empathy, scrooge, maxing out credit cards to pay for Christmas that I am scrooging about,mommy with no patience, eating machine, and did I mention mommy with no patience????????????

Most of all, I am tied of listening to myself being tired of being pregnant.

How's your day?

Amelia's first day of school

Well after this long drawn out phasing in process that day finally arrived last week. She was on her way to school. Nursery school, but still school.

She woke up at 5am so excited she couldn't sleep but I managed to convince her to climb into bed with us. She tossed and turned but finally settled in, cuddling on my shoulder like she did when she was a baby. I didn't move until 6:45 am when the alarm went off. It presented the first challenge of the day. My arm was completely asleep, therefore not moving on it's own, and Amelia was in a deep, deep, deep sleep. I tried desperately to wiggle my arm free without rousing her abruptly. However, that resulted in me punching Jaimie in the face and flinging Amelia over to his side of the bed. She rolled over and looked at me happily and said "Now can we go to nursery school?"


So off we trotted downstairs for her breakfast of champions, bagel w/PINK cream cheese and milk. All served in the latest Disney Princess dinnerware.


While she ate I packed her snack in all of Disney's latest school tools.


Then she got dressed in an outfit that she picked out the day before. We went shopping the day before school just like my mom used to do with me. I was surprised at her choices, it all matched relatively well. With no help from me.


Isn't she sweet? Then we loaded up the car with all my kids and went to pick up her best bud, Rory. Aren't they cute?


By this time the number of times I heard "NOW, can we go to nursery school?" made me realize that I should stop trying to capture every single second on film and let her enjoy her moment.

When we pulled up to the school she and Rory were giddy and jumping in their seats. I unbuckled them and gave them their backpacks and made them sit for one final picture.


They hopped down and walked into school all smiles. The teacher came right over and they walked right through the gate with her without a SINGLE look back. I called "Bye!!! Have a good day." Amelia turned around and smiled and winked at me and walked away. She winked at me! She is 3 for Pete's sake.

I was getting back into the car when Rory's mom drove up distraught that she had missed the entrance into school. She ran to peek in the window and then came back so we could hug each other a bit and cry.

That's it. Her first day captured on film and etched in my heart. Do you know that BOTH girls ask each time if I will take their picture? They are disappointed when I say "not today." Every school day is special to them.

It turned out pretty darn ok

So, despite my melancholy pissing and moaning, my birthday turned out pretty fantastic. Although I had my doubts most of the day. It didn't start out so well.

There were daycare kids and my own who just refused to listen to me. I think they all sat in timeout for most of the day. The black dress I wanted to wear to dinner didn't quite fit right on my burgeoning belly. It's an empire waist but has a wide patent leather belt that just sat funny on the top of my little passenger. So I settled for my old stand by, maternity black pants and white top. I had my hair cut the day before and loved it but when I tried to repeat the style that I left the salon with, I ended up in a fight with my hair dryer. I don't suppose I have to tell you who won. The lipstick I bought was just not quite the right shade of red. By the time that Jaimie called to say he had to push back the reservations, I was ready to say "let's just order pizza". But boy am I glad that I didn't.

Jaimie took me to a restaurant that he has been raving about for months, Isaac's (I would put a link here but they don't have a website). It was a beautiful, quiet, dim restaurant. At first I was afraid that the little traveler wouldn't let me eat very much from the menu, but when I caught a glimpse of the tenderloin with bernaise sauce, my passenger relented on his/her assault on my stomach. Seriously, best food in a looooooooooooong time. The second that the fork passed my lips my mouth burst with happy taste buds. Oh.My.God. It was that good. The only thing missing was a deep, rich, dry red wine. Oddly enough, this passenger craves red wine (much like his/her sister did). However, I do have some sense and kept my indulgences to some caffeinated coffee. When we finally poured ourselves out of our seats, we were full without being too full and lazily drove home to a little girl who did NOT want to sleep until we were home. Lucky for her (and the babysitter) we are early dinners and arrived home just after 9pm. My husband stole away with Amelia for a few minutes to get my gift ready. Oh ya, my gift. A "queen for the day" at the Brokstreet Spa. How bloody fantastic is that? How amazing is my husband? Seriously. Seriously.

As if that weren't enough, we spent the next day feeding ducks and shopping for Amelia's ballet school uniform. We were then to go to my friend's house for what I thought was a quiet evening to discover that she had been in cahoots with Jaimie to get some of our dearest friends over to celebrate with us. I was completely spoiled and loved every minute of it. I woke up this morning at 8:30am!!! I haven't slept in that late since way before Amelia was born. I had a cup of the most amazing tea (a rockin' birthday present) and had a really easy Sunday morning. Well, after I broke the bodum but that's another story.

It was the first birthday in a long time that I didn't feel completely sad that it was only about me. Sometimes the things in life that I am missing can eclipse the many, many things that I am grateful for; but I am glad that I had a mom who taught me to let the happy cast a shadow over the sad.

Happy flippin' birthday to me

Tomorrow is my birthday. The Leo in me (yes, in some books I am a cusp Leo. And anyone who knows me knows that I am a Leo.) waits for this day like it's Christmas. Only it's better than Christmas simply because there is no snow on the ground. Summer is winding down but there are still a few magical days and mystical nights left before September rolls in with school, cool mornings and chilly nights. I love this time of year, it's like beginning all over again. Fresher, wiser, happier. I am not sure if I feel this because it is my birthday and I am starting a new year or if it comes from when I was still in the days of shopping for back to school supplies. Never the less, it is the beginning of my favourite time of year, fall. The colours are everywhere and I feel like I am inside a painting.

I always felt my birthday was extra special because I share it with my mom. 35 years ago tomorrow I arrived 1 day early (after a 2 hour labour!) to be my mom's 38th birthday present. We have always celebrated our birthdays together. When I was little, I wasn't really aware it was her birthday. I always thought that my birthday was during the day and hers was at night. As I got older I saw our shared birthday not as a lucky coincidence but as further proof that I was hers. I belonged to her. Although it was well known that I was born on her birthday, I always felt like she and I shared some special secret between us.

This is my fourth birthday without her and each year brings the same melancholy feeling. I think that this day is harder for me than the anniversary of her death. For on this day, more than any other, I feel her absence. She is missing from life in so many ways. As I came into motherhood, as I wait for this little one to arrive. As I quit the job she hated so much and began down the path she so desperately wanted to go down with us (SAHM). The million times a day I still think, "I really have to tell mom....". But I am getting used to those days. I don't really cry anymore on those days. I miss her but she brings a smile to my face. But on this day, the day to celebrate our beginnings, I can really feel our ending. Like our secret is gone.

I have a great family and great friends that make this day a little better. My amazing husband has arranged for a babysitter and is whisking me away for a romantic dinner. One of my best friends is having us over the next day for a little dinner party with just our families. I am truly thankful for all the blessing that I have. I am so lucky to have found Jaimie. We are so blessed to be Amelia's parents.

However, only for this day, I am sad for what I don't have anymore.